100 Lunches with strangers - ebook

WHAT SOME PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT THIS BOOK.

Testimonials

“Kaley has uniquely combined entertainment, knowledge and efficiency in an inspirational manual that is easy for everyone to read. Her personality shines through her words which ultimately creates a caring core that is different from all other inspirational guides. 100% recommend.”

Vinay Samuel _Entrepreneur. Founder and CEO of Zetaris_

“She had a genuine belief in helping other. The fact that Kaley is learning from others and passing on lessons is inspirational. I hope her lessons and learnings reach far and wide as we need people like Kaley to succeed and inspire.”

David Klingberg _Director and Principal at Smart Planning and Design Town Planner_

“I had experimented with stepping outside of my comfort zone several times along the years. But what Kaley did sounded out of the ordinary. Until I read her journey. It’s not an impossible achievement. It’s doable, it’s approachable, and most of all, it enhances the power of human connection, which we all seem to lose day by day connected to our smartphones.”

Catherine Wong _International Pianist and Ambassador of British-Chinese Co-music_

“I can pick who will make it, and I believe Kaley will. The concept of 100 meetings with interesting and successful people will benefit her in spades. If Kaley knew or could learn what we know now, but at her young age, with her passion and enthusiasm – she would own the free world.”

Ray Malone _CEO of AMA Group_

“Take a leaf out of Kaley’s book. Put yourself out there and try to meet as many strangers as you can in a year, or in a lifetime. Some will become friends, some acquaintances, and some you won’t see again, but at least you’ll enjoy the ride.”

Nicolina Lademann _Principal at marshalls+dent+wilmoth_

“Anyone can come up with a great idea, yet taking action on the idea and following through is a totally different game. It takes discipline, sacrifice, great belief in oneself and a will to succeed. Kaley, just like a champion athlete, was able to put in the effort and hours in order to better herself.”

Tansel Ali _Four-time Australian Memory Champion_

Kaley’s “100 Lunches With Strangers” is a refreshing and inspirational read. Kaley offered her personal journeys as practical guidance for everyone to meet new friends, exchange new ideas, build connections, explore possibilities and welcome challenges. I highly recommend you read Kaley’s new book!

Jackie Cheng _PhD – Drug development professional_

“It takes a tremendous amount of awareness to firstly identify your own blind spots, and an equal amount of resourcefulness to do something about it. Kaley clearly has both. Identifying a blind spot to her circle of influence, and utilizing not only an impressive idea and top gun execution has resulted in Kaley becoming the influencer in her circle.”

James Grima _CEO at Positive Training Solutions Pty Ltd_

“I am a true believer that relationships make the world go around. Well Kaley took this to another level with 100 lunches with strangers. Kaley at a very young age, has learnt more than what most learn in a lifetime and now she is sharing it with the world. Truly inspirational young lady who took going outside your comfort zone to another level and now Kaley shares her learnings with us all. Definitely get on board, read the book, learn and take action! As Kaley says, ‘Step out of your comfort zone and transform your life’.”

Simon Rabl _Director at LBARS Pty Ltd_

“Meet new people. Cultivate relationships. Dedicate and invest time in learning from others. To acknowledge that WHO you know is not limited or fixed in life. Kaley set a fantastic example of being a super-networker and super-connector. Constantly expanding who she knows. The huge results of this will multiply like compound interest for decades to come.”

Derek Stewart _Founder of ‘Future of Australia Podcast’_

“Kaley’s adventurous experimentation reminds us the power of having a growth mindset and stepping outside of our comfort zone. This book is a practical guide that inspires us to explore life and discover our inner potential.”

Dr. Regina Choy _PhD – Scientist, pharmaceutical industry professional_

“Inspiring read! The power of networking on display. Kaley shows us that life begins at the end of your comfort zone with her book 100 Lunches. This is a smart and entertaining story detailing Kaley’s personal journey, and each chapter contains useful learnings, tips, reminders and insight. Nothing ventured, nothing gained – give it a read.”

Kim Booth _Career and Performance Coach at Coach Kim_

“Kaley’s introduction unexpectedly popped up in LinkedIn and her inspirational story of a once shy introvert and now a bold, confident networker really impressed me and I just had to meet with her. Kaley’s story gets even more inspirational and it’s impossible to resist befriending her.”

Shannon Hautot _Founder and director at OrderMate_I first met Kaley Chu at a property expo in Melbourne. As a regular at these events, I’ve met some pretty good business people and, of course, salespeople and promoters; but it was clear to me right from the outset there was something special about Kaley. She was friendly and sincere with an obvious passion for what she was doing. I was so impressed, I made an offhand comment that one day we would end up working together.

We crossed paths a few years later, and as fate would have it, I was looking for a new team member and Kaley was looking for a new opportunity... so, she invited me to lunch. I could see there was real potential lurking below the surface for her to go on and do great things – which got me thinking: If we could create the right environment, provide the right opportunities, and give ongoing encouragement and support, maybe that potential could grow into something amazing.

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| John bought me a cake to celebrate my first working anniversary. |
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I’m pleased and proud to say, she has certainly proved me right.

Not long after that lunch, she joined my team in a business development role. Working with Kaley is an experience! She has seemingly endless energy and a thinking style that cuts through the fluff and finds the shortest path to achieving the desired outcome.

I have observed her natural ability to connect with people, and when she expressed a desire to broaden her network, the idea of 100 Lunches within her LinkedIn network was born. Unlike most people who have good ideas, Kaley took action immediately and stuck with it to the end. I don’t think either of us had any idea how life changing her journey would be.

Over the past year, I have watched Kaley develop both professionally and personally into a confident young woman with big aspirations, with the drive and determination to bring them to fruition. I hope her story, and the lessons she has shared from these 100 Lunches, inspire you to reach out, connect with more people, grow, and live the life you truly deserve.

John Di Natale
_International Speaker / Author / Director of Equi Wealth_
_www.equiwealth.com.au_
_www.johndinatale.com_

Come to think of it, I wasn’t that shy when I was in my hometown. Born and raised in Hong Kong, I went to a local government school and I loved talking. However, talking or active participation wasn’t encouraged in Hong Kong and I was labelled the ‘naughty kid’ because I talked too much and disrupted the peace in class. The teacher talks, the students listen – that’s how the Hong Kong education system works. Like every parent in the world, my parents wanted to give me the best opportunities, so they decided to send me to study in Australia. believing that the education system would be more suitable for my personality.

However, in a foreign country, a different environment, and with all my friends and family more than 7500 kilometres away, my confidence was smashed. Even though I began learning English at the age of three, I realised I could barely communicate as everyone spoke too fast, had different accents, and used slang which made their English seem like a different language. “G’day mate, gonna have a smoko then I might go to Maccas this arvo, and tonight I’ll head down to the local for a schnitty and bevvy with the missus and the fam.” What does that even mean?

With my positive attitude, I thoroughly enjoyed my time in Melbourne and made friends with the same background as me. In those first four years in Melbourne, I completed my commerce degree at the University of Melbourne, and felt so happy and proud... except for one big problem. I loved Melbourne and wanted to stay for good, but all the friends I had made while studying were returning to Hong Kong after graduation.

Despair, sadness, and loneliness. ”What a great time to step out of my comfort zone and make some local friends and be a real Aussie,” my logical mind said.

“No way, that’s scary. Your English is not good enough and you mix up ‘him’ and ‘her’ half of the time. Don’t embarrass yourself,” my emotional mind said. (In Chinese, there is no ‘him’ or ‘her’, just one ‘ta’ that can be used for both genders). Every time I had that debate in my head, my emotional mind would win.

With a bit of luck, I got my first job as a sales coordinator at a financial planning firm, with Asians and Indians as the primary market. My main role was talking to people on the phone as well as face-to-face at expos. My confidence grew, but only in a professional environment where the conversation was almost scripted. I could easily talk to people about financial planning, superannuation, investments, or anything finance related, but found it difficult to really engage with people on a personal level. I was still able to make some sales with my hard work and knowledge in the field, however, without the ability to talk to someone on a personal level, there’s no real connection. I had lots of clients and colleagues who would give me an excellent reference for my work, but I still didn’t have anyone that I could call a ‘friend’.

Life carried on and I married the best man in the world, Vincent (from Hong Kong of course), and I was blessed with two healthy boys. Life was pretty hectic balancing a full-time job and raising young kids, but we managed. We went to work during the day, spent time with the kids at night, and had family days on the weekends in museums, parks and indoor play centres.

_Life was great, but I still felt like there was something missing. I just had to discover what it was..._

In 2017, when my second son had just turned one, I was looking for a new job when someone came to mind. John Di Natale. He had promised to give me a job four years before after meeting at an expo, so I sent out my very first lunch invitation via LinkedIn, and to my delight, he said yes.

It was after our second lunch that John offered me a job as a Business Development Manager at Equi Wealth. I was excited by the job offer, but also nervous. I had good knowledge of financial planning, and had been a Business Development Manager before, but my previous roles were organising marketing campaigns, not getting out there to meet and talk with people and make real connections.

“You can do it, Kaley! I can see the potential in you and I know you’ll be a superstar,” said John.

“Thank you. I promise I won’t disappoint you,” I replied. But how was I going to do it? Didn’t he know I couldn’t talk to locals? I wasn’t sure I could do the job well, but there was no turning back.

John promised to train me, and he did. He took me to every meeting so I could learn how to speak. He also took me to all the networking events where I would stand next to him so I could learn how to network with people. He spent an hour training me every single day, building up my confidence. My English improved and my pronunciation and accent got better and better. One day, he said, “Kaley, I think you’re ready. Why don’t you explain our company process to our client at the next meeting?”

“Sure.” I replied

The time came, and when the client walked in the door and they started talking, I thought to myself, “I can do this. I have heard this conversation so many times before. I can do this.”

“Now, I’ll let Kaley explain our company process to you,” said John.

“Umm...” Those 10 seconds of silence felt like an hour until John took over. Then, the client looked at me and asked me a question. What it was exactly, I don’t remember. All I remember is my reply, which was “Umm...”

All the answers were in my head, and if it were an email, I could have given him a thorough and professional reply, but face-to-face, I had nothing. It was disastrous. John was a little embarrassed, but still supportive. I knew I had to do something. I couldn’t be a Business Development Manager if I couldn’t speak to people.

By the end of 2017, I had attended a few business meetings over lunch and enjoyed those meetings a lot. The more relaxed setting made me a lot more comfortable, and brought out the friendly side of people. I decided I needed to do more lunch meetings and knew as in any business endeavor, waiting for people to reach out to me was not the best approach. I needed to get out there because no one is going to enter your shop if you keep the door closed and the blinds down.

In January 2018, during a casual discussion with John, I made a New Year’s Resolution – I was going to have lunch with 100 strangers.

This book is the bringing together of the lessons from my interactions with each guest. Each chapter explores the moments and people that brought me to where I am now.

Enjoy!

_So, the story begins..._

_“Don’t live the same day over and over again and call that a life. Life is about evolving mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.”_ GERMANY KENT

On January 15, 2018, committed to my new plan, I sent out 30 lunch invitations via LinkedIn. I introduced myself, explained what I did and most importantly, asked if they would like to have lunch with me. I used to send lots of the usual, standard marketing messages, and my reply rate was less than one percent. Because of that, I didn’t have high hopes for my 30 invitations. To my surprise, I received a lot more ‘yes’ answers than expected. I got three people agreeing to lunch, which was a much better response rate than my previous marketing campaigns. I was happy, but nervous at the same time. It was happening.

My very first lunch was with the director of a small firm. He was a very nice guy, and I’m grateful he was my first lunch guest. It was a while ago now but I still remember every single detail. His name was Dan. I arrived at the restaurant 15 minutes early, waiting outside at the door, wondering what time Dan would turn up. At 1pm sharp, he arrived. In his mid-40s with an Italian background, he wore a blue shirt and jeans; casual but nice. He walked straight toward me with a friendly smile and a handshake. We walked into the restaurant, and sat down together. Dan was a very successful businessman who was curious about my random lunch invitation. Despite how friendly he was, I still felt awkwardly shy. Dan ordered a burger and because I was following the low carb diet at that time, I ordered the only ‘low carb’ option on the menu – buffalo hot wings. We shared chit chat about the weather and the holidays, but it was still so awkward and I began to question why I thought this was a good idea: two strangers with apparently nothing in common, stuck at a table, having lunch together.

_Here’s a photo of the chicken wings I ordered_

When the food arrived, the situation got even more awkward because no matter how hard I tried, it was messy to eat the wings. So, there I was, a shy girl and a messy eater trying to eat some fried wings with a fork, in front of a stranger. To alleviate the awkwardness, Dan asked me lots of questions. He asked me about my work and family, and shared a little about his life. It felt like an interview – not a job interview – but a life interview. I knew I was failing, not only because my communication skills were not ‘up there’, but also because my life was pretty average and as a result, I didn’t have many exciting or interesting stories to share. I was once again relying on my standard answer: “Umm...”

He asked me a lot of simple questions I didn’t know how to answer.

“Hey Kaley, what do you like to do on weekends? What’s your hobby?”

“Um... I don’t know.”

I didn’t even have a hobby. I don’t do sports; I can’t play any musical instruments, and I can’t swim so watersports are out of the question. He looked at me a little confused and I stared back at him with a blank face. That was the moment I decided I needed to broaden my experiences. That was the tipping point where I realised I really should try more new things. As the saying goes: You don’t know how boring your life is until someone asks you what you do for fun.

Without hesitation, I decided to get a life, get some hobbies, and try something new. It was a long lunch, not because we had a lot to talk about, but finishing a plate of chicken wings with a fork takes a long time. I thanked Dan for agreeing to have lunch with me; he gave me a hug, wished me all the best with my project and left. As far as productive lunches go, this one was pretty bad. If it was a date, I’m sure there wouldn’t have been a second one, but hey, I did it. I stepped out of my comfort zone and I was one percent complete on my new year’s resolution.

As soon as I got back to my office, I wrote a very long bucket list. I proactively started to tick them off – one at a time. I signed up for swimming classes, I bought a guitar and began taking lessons, I tried boxing classes... Wow, they were fun! I found myself asking, why hadn’t I tried all this earlier? What had I done to myself by spending all my time mastering Candy Crush instead of getting some real lessons from some real hobbies?

I’m very proud to say in 2018, I read more books, I tried more new activities, and I talked to more people than I did in the past 10 years combined. My life was way more interesting than I could have ever dreamed. Lesson number one – only you have the power to make your life a great story.

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| Just like me trying ice skating, pistol shooting, guitar, and hot yoga, |
| all for the first time in 2018 |
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One of my lunch guests told me, none of us knows how much time we have left to live, which got me thinking. It could be a few days, it could be a few years, it could even be a few decades. It’s unrealistic to ‘live every day as your last day’ because we should have our long-term goals, but at the same time, we can’t just focus on the future. Why don’t we choose a day each month and live that day as our last day on Earth? Don’t wait until you know you’re dying to start living.

Let yourself do something fun, something crazy, spend the time with the ones you truly love, and tell them how much they mean to you and how much you love them.

_Once a day. Every day._Questions for YOU

If you had unlimited time and money, what would you be doing? What experiences would you like to try?

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Are there any hobbies you had in your childhood that you are missing, or you want to pick up again? What were you good at when you were younger?

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Do you have a bucket list? Is there anything you want to do, places you want to go?

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Start writing down a list of things that give you pleasure (as many as you can think of) and start doing them now.

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What is the hobby you are most passionate about? Do you make time for this hobby?

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_“If you begin to understand what you are without trying to change it, then what you are undergoes a transformation.”_ JIDDU KRISHNAMURTI

The lunches continued but they were way more interesting as I now had some fun experiences to talk about. I shared my progress with guitar and swimming lessons, and because I was excited, my guests were excited for me too. The conversations then went a little bit deeper and the constant flow of questions got me thinking a lot about my life. They would ask me questions such as: “So what do you want to achieve out of this? What do you want in life? What are your goals? What do you like? What are you good at?”

Life is busy and it felt like I was constantly pedaling hard just to get things done. Work, kids, family, household chaos... When was the last time I sat down and thought about what I really wanted in my life? I didn’t know. Possibly never.

“How do you know where to shoot the arrow (or shoot a gun for that matter) if you don’t even know where your target is? And how do you know where to focus your energy if you don’t know what you want?,” one of my lunch guests asked me.

He was probably right. As the famous saying goes: If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

I have a very clear vision now. This is in fact my biggest takeaway from having lunch with 100 strangers.

_The whole process became less about understanding 100 strangers and more about understanding myself._

This was not an event, or even a series of events, but a journey. Every time I speak with someone, they inspire me in some way. The more people I talk to, the clearer my plans become. Now, not only am I clear on my goals, I have a vision board and I’m turning those visions into reality.

I remember the CEO of AMA Group, Ray Malone, once told me, “Understanding yourself and being true to yourself is the number one rule for being successful in life. UNDERSTAND YOURSELF SO YOU CAN BUILD ON YOUR STRENGTH AND IMPROVE OR OUTSOURCE YOUR WEAKNESSES. Be true to yourself so you can be truly happy in life. Don’t live on other people’s terms, live life on your terms, live it the way you want it, so you can be truly happy. You only live once, don’t make yourself regret.”

This is my vision board for 2019. This is what I want to achieve this year. _What do you want to accomplish?_Questions for YOU

Below are some of the questions I was asked a lot and which helped me think about my life more clearly. What are your answers?

What do you love/hate to do?

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What are you good at?

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What are your biggest strengths?

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What are you most proud of in your life?

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What are you passionate about? What gets you excited?

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What do you want more or less of in your life?

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What’s your dream? Where do you want to be in 5, 10 or 20 years?

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What does success mean to you? How do you define a successful life? Be specific.

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Who do you want to help? Whose life do you want to change?

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_“The secret to having it all is knowing you already do.” _ ANONYMOUS

Most people in their 20s assume they have decades to live. We take life for granted and I was no exception. Then I met Paul Wetherall and he truly touched my heart. Looking at Paul, you wouldn’t be able to guess what he had been through. He looked like the happiest man on Earth with a big smile on his face; you could see him radiating gratitude.

As a casual observer, you would probably assume he has the best life without many ups and downs. This assumption unfortunately, couldn’t be further from the truth. Paul had Acute Myeloid Leukaemia (blood cancer). After being tortured by the illness and dealing with many rounds of chemotherapy and treatments, his doctor told him he had no more than two months to live. Devastated by the news, his perspective completely changed, but in a positive way. He treasured every day, and lived every day as though it was his last. Instead of complaining, he decided to be grateful for what he had and to live life to its full potential. “Quality, not quantity,” he said.

Then, a miracle happened. His blood marrow was matched with a stranger’s in Germany. Long story short, with the stranger’s help, he lived. He beat cancer. He survived. I was so happy for him and it was not where the story ended. He proudly showed me a picture of his baby boy. He said: “This is the photo of my miracle baby. I’m probably a bit old to be a dad now, but I’ll try my best to be the best dad in the world.”

“I’m sure you will,” I replied, with tears in my eyes. This was a beautiful story with a beautiful ending and it inspired me to register as a bone marrow donor.

Paul’s story was not an isolated one. I’ve met many people with similar stories to share. Some struggled with infertility for more than a decade. One man told me his wife was hit by a truck and was constantly suffering from pain that medical professionals had been unable to manage.

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| LUNCH WITH PAUL WETHERALL. HIS STORY HAS NOW BEEN FEATURED BY BUPA TO |
| ENCOURAGE MORE PEOPLE TO REGISTER FOR BONE MARROW DONATION. |
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Another lunch guest told me his wife had a brain tumor and had been very sick for years and how it changed their lives completely.

We assume time is working in our favour and we have decades left to achieve our dreams, but we just don’t know. Life is so fragile. Things happen that are out of our control, and it only takes a few seconds to completely crash our life.

I didn’t know how powerful it was to speak with someone who had faced trauma at that level. I’d read many similar stories online, but they never touched my heart in the way these people did. I felt their pain. I felt their joy. They changed my perspective and I don’t take that for granted. I feel grateful and I treasure life a lot more. I value my time a lot more.

I think that’s one of the main reasons I achieved so much in 2018; I stopped wasting time. I stopped procrastinating and became proactive in chasing what I wanted in life. Instead of responding to life, I created one. Stories such as Paul’s are empowering, especially hearing them first hand.Questions for YOU

Who do you love most in your life? Who are the most important people to you? What would make them happy? What little bit extra can you do today to put a smile on their faces?

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What are you most grateful for in your life?

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Can you think of three moments you are deeply grateful for?

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If you knew you had limited time, what would you do, where would you go? (Well, you do have limited time. Get to work!)

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If you knew the people you love had limited time, would you behave differently, or would you treat them differently?

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_“If you think small, your world will be small. If you think big, your world will be big.” _PAULO COELHO

Two months into the journey, I had lunch with a billionaire. He would prefer I didn’t disclose his name, so let’s call him Mr R.

Mr R is the founder and director of a listed company. When I looked at his LinkedIn profile, I questioned inviting him, sure he wouldn’t agree. I’m glad I went through with it because that three-and-a-half hour lunch took my life to another level. Yes, you read that right, it was a three-and-a-half hour lunch.

Mr R made a reservation in one of the most delightful restaurants near my office. I was nervous on the day and arrived at the restaurant 10 minutes early. To my surprise, Mr R was already there. The food was sensational. We had entrée, main, sides, dessert and a different wine to accompany each dish. The company was even better. He told me his success story of how he started more than 20 different businesses, of which only three were successful, and one got him to where he was today, but each moved him closer to his goal.

“So, what’s your goal, Kaley?”

“Umm... I’d like to work in the same company, maybe in a more senior position, get my wage, enjoy life, live happily ever after,” I said, like a standard job interview answer. He didn’t say anything, but in his eyes, I could see disappointment. I could see disapproval. A few seconds later, he slowly replied.

“Have you ever been curious about what your full potential is? Or do you think working in a management role at your current company is the best you can achieve?”

I was speechless. I had never really thought about my full potential, let alone reaching it. He inspired me to think bigger. Instead of thinking in thousands, how about millions? Billions?

“Hey, maybe I can do better than this. Maybe I have underestimated my potential my whole life and maybe I haven’t lived my life to the fullest yet. We only live once. Let’s think bigger, try harder and maybe one day, I can be as successful as him.”

I want to be clear about something here. The reason I described him as successful is not just because of the amount of money he has but the lifestyle he was living. It turns out that our lunch that day was the only meeting he had for the whole day, and after lunch he just went home to play with his kids. Meanwhile, I was still working hard in the office to catch up with work after the long lunch.

Money gave him fulfillment, but it also gave him the freedom to enjoy life and do what he wanted to do. In his 40s, with three young children and a beautiful wife, he enjoyed spending time with young people inspiring them to think bigger. “Money is NOT the root of all evil. Money doesn’t change you, it only magnifies who you are, it allows you to do things on a bigger scale. I can see that you’re a nice girl, and I’d love to see you make a bigger, positive impact to the world,” he said.

That’s how our lunch ended. This also how my small mindset ended.

_Think big. Dream big._Questions for YOU

Do you think you have reached your full potential? Why or why not?

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Are you happy where you are currently at? Have you tried your best?

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What would you be doing now if you were guaranteed 100% success?

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What would you be doing if you achieved your absolute maximum potential? Not just in your career, but also in physical fitness, relationship, finance, contribution to people around you, and to society?

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Who can you help and whose life can you transform when you reach your full potential?

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