The Merry Wives of Windsor - ebook

Actus primus

Scena prima.

Enter Iustice Shallow, Slender, Sir Hugh Euans, Master Page, Falstoffe, Bardolph, Nym, Pistoll, Anne Page, Mistresse Ford, Mistresse Page, Simple.

Shallow.
Sir Hugh, perswade me not: I will make a Star-Chamber matter of it, if hee were twenty Sir Iohn Falstoffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow Esquire.
Slen.
In the County of Glocester, Iustice of Peace and Coram.
Shal.
I (Cosen Slender) and Cust-alorum.
Slen.
I, and Rato lorum too; and a Gentleman borne (Master Parson) who writes himselfe Armigero, in any Bill, Warrant, Quittance, or Obligation, Armigero.
Shal.
I that I doe, and haue done any time these three hundred yeeres.
Slen.
All his successors (gone before him) hath don’t: and all his Ancestors (that come after him) may: they may giue the dozen white Luces in their Coate.
Shal.
It is an olde Coate.
Euans.
The dozen white Lowses doe become an old Coat well: it agrees well passant: It is a familiar beast to man, and signifies Loue.
Shal.
The Luse is the fresh-fish, the salt-fish, is an old Coate.
Slen.
I may quarter (Coz).
Shal.
You may, by marrying.
Euans.
It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.
Shal.
Not a whit.
Euan.
Yes per-lady: if he ha’s a quarter of your coat, there is but three Skirts for your selfe, in my simple coniectures; but that is all one: if Sir Iohn Falstaffe haue committed disparagements vnto you, I am of the Church and will be glad to do my beneuolence, to make attonements and compremises betweene you.
Shal.
The Councell shall heare it, it is a Riot.
Euan.
It is not meet the Councell heare a Riot: there is no feare of Got in a Riot: The Councell (looke you) shall desire to heare the feare of Got, and not to heare a Riot: take your vizaments in that.
Shal.
Ha; o’my life, if I were yong againe, the sword should end it.
Euans.
It is perter that friends is the sword, and end it: and there is also another deuice in my praine, which peraduenture prings goot discretions with it. There is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master Thomas Page, which is pretty virginity.
Slen.
Mistris Anne Page? she has browne haire, and speakes small like a woman.
Euans.
It is that ferry person for all the orld, as iust as you will desire, and seuen hundred pounds of Moneyes, and Gold, and Siluer, is her Grand-sire vpon his deathsbed, (Got deliuer to a ioyfull resurrections) giue, when she is able to ouertake seuenteene yeeres old. It were a goot motion, if we leaue our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage betweene Master Abraham, and Mistris Anne Page.
Slen.
Did her Grand-sire leaue her seauen hundred pound?
Euan.
I, and her father is make her a petter penny.
Slen.
I know the young Gentlewoman, she has good gifts.
Euan.
Seuen hundred pounds, and possibilities, is goot gifts.
Shal.
Wel, let vs see honest M^(r) Page: is Falstaffe there?
Euan.
Shall I tell you a lye? I doe despise a lyer, as I doe despise one that is false, or as I despise one that is not true: the Knight Sir Iohn is there, and I beseech you be ruled by your well-willers: I will peat the doore for M^(r). Page. What hoa? Got-plesse your house heere.
M^(r).Page.
Who’s there?
Euan.
Here is go’t’s plessing and your friend, and Iustice Shallow, and heere yong Master Slender: that peraduentures shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings.
M^(r).Page.
I am glad to see your Worships well: I thanke you for my Venison Master Shallow.
Shal.
Master Page, I am glad to see you: much good doe it your good heart: I wish’d your Venison better, it was ill killd: how doth good Mistresse Page? and I thank you alwaies with my heart, la: with my heart.
M.Page.
Sir, I thanke you.
Shal.
Sir, I thanke you: by yea, and no I doe.
M.Pa.
I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.
Slen.
How do’s your fallow Greyhound, Sir, I heard say he was out-run on Cotsall.
M.Pa.
It could not be iudg’d, Sir.
Slen.
You’ll not confesse: you’ll not confesse.
Shal.
That he will not, ’tis your fault, ’tis your fault: ’tis a good dogge.
M.Pa.
A Cur, Sir.
Shal.
Sir: hee’s a good dog, and a faire dog, can there be more said? he is good, and faire. Is Sir Iohn Falstaffe heere?
M.Pa.
Sir, hee is within: and I would I could doe a good office betweene you.
Euan.
It is spoke as a Christians ought to speake.
Shal.
He hath wrong’d me (Master Page.)
M.Pa.
Sir, he doth in some sort confesse it.

This is a free sample. Please purchase full version of the book to continue.