Impossible. Defeat your ego. Live unbound - ebook

Acknowledgements to:

My grandmom, Daniela.

My mom, Alina.

My dad, Marek.

My sister, Anna.

My wife, Anna.

My friends: Mateusz Kowalczyk, Tomasz Szymender, Jakub Zajączkowski, Krzysztof Piotrowski, Krzysztof Tomeczek and Wojciech Rybarczyk.

For help when I really needed it:

Michał Kotzyba, Aleksandra Bykowska, Radosław Siczek, Andrzej Mach, Igor Bujdo, Mateusz Moj, Marek Pyla, Krzysztof Majnusz, Paweł Piotrowski, Andrzej Rabski, Dariusz Lipka, Tomasz Zajączkowski, Piotr Piątkowski and Stanisław and Stanisława Janus.

Real thanks to my master late dr Jerzy Wielkoszyński.What is this book about?

If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.

— Henry Ford

The book you are holding in your hands is a multidimensional guide of personal and spiritual development. It tells about my journey to awakening and shows how to live the life of your dreams, in practice, not only in theory. It is an immensely personal story, however, I opened up despite Ego internal resistance. I believe it will help many people to solve problems and it will teach how to become a self-possessed person controlling emotions and as a result – the future. What can you learn and achieve by taking over the control of your mind? Imagine that…

1. You can choose any of the features of characters you know and – you can be self-confident, full of energy and motivated…
2. You do not send yourself mechanically into the negative emotional state – the end of stress, being sulky, lack of motivation and overwhelming problems.
3. You are happy regardless all of the experiences you have had, the circumstances and other people – you are the one who decides how to feel in every single moment.
4. Your relationship is just perfect – you have built it on values, and not on emotions.
5. You love your job, develop your passions and inborn talents. You achieve any objectives you set for yourself. You turn dreams into objectives and fulfill them one by one.

You can lead the horse to water but can’t make it drink.

— American Indian proverb

Ego – an inner voice can whisper you that it is impossible to have a chosen personality and to be happy for ever. If you believe in negative thoughts – it will be impossible for you. However, if only curiosity and desire to change yourself for a better person wins – you can achieve it and become whichever personality you wish. Changing yourself you will change your future. Taking total control of your character, emotions and future, I guarantee that your life will change beyond the recognition.Foreword – Master and disciple

Employ your time in improving yourself by other men’s

writings so that you shall come easily by what others

have labored hard for.

— Socrates

Since time immemorial, master and his disciple relationship has been perfectly known. Always when it has come to personal and spiritual development, main roles have been played by master and his disciple. The master has had an extended knowledge and experience that he had acquired from his master and has been improving it for ages. Master’s role has been to transfer knowledge in the most efficient manner. These trainings had exactly the same value as their result. The point is that what came by the skin of master’s teeth was particularly a piece of cake for his disciple. However, when a disciple didn’t fully trust his master then this training was worth very little. That is why a deep faith and constant desire of improvement by master’s side is very important. Only this way a disciple could give himself a chance to comprehend the nature of mind – awakening. Master’s and his disciple’s relation should always be based on solid foundation which is a hearty confidence. Placing under the command of master’s knowledge, the awakening is possible.

Nowadays a classical master – disciple relation is rather unusual, or at least I haven’t dealt with such in my life. Such a relation seems to be downright mystical. The fact that any of us have their own master, serves nobody. The way of life, is tortuous and almost all the time, you are walking uphill. While not meeting your master on your way there is a little chance to have a happy life.

Everything I have achieved I appreciate my master whom I had the pleasure to meet. The cogitation about that person’s influence on my life came later, that is why it had not been a traditional relation master-disciple because during its progress I had not been aware of that. When I became matured I realized how lucky I had been to know such an outstanding specialist of motor preparation and physiotherapist late doctor Jerzy Wielkoszyński. He will remind with me as a champion of life. Although being over seventy years old he was constantly developing himself. He wasn’t waiting for new foreign training solutions to reach our country, but on his own he was translating thesis from different parts of the world. He understood that the only way is development. The greatest lesson I was given by him was the ability to ask questions and determination in looking for and finding the answers. Whenever I asked him how I can improve myself mentally, technically or motorically as a sportsperson, he used to say that I should look for the answer, and I will find it. It’s been ages before I realized the incredible strength of this skill – the ability to look for answers. In my case, this ability has proved to be multidimensional.

Asking right questions and consistency in looking for the answers could be referred to almost any area of life. If you realize how powerful such ability is, everything will be possible. If you are looking for happiness, love, passion, money or you just would like to become a sport or business champion, start asking questions. However, a huge determination is essential, because not every answer will be given on the spot. Being patient and determined you give yourself a great chance to get the answer even for the most difficult questions related to the meaning of life. The most important thing is that everyone can achieve this. No matter if you are a sportsperson, a businessman or a housewife, asking proper questions and searching for the answers with determination – you will find them. And only after, miracle start to happen because anything what you have considered to be impossible so far is within arm’s reach. Life can be a wonderful adventure and it depends only on you whether it is worth living.1. Why am I who I am – Ego

You are who you are because you have such sort of experiences and not another. Those experiences have created the personality which you already have. This personality created by experience – is called Ego.

Experiencing life on daily basis, since the youngest age we learn to accept words, thoughts, behaviour and emotions of the people around us and from mass media. Such a variety of information which bombard your mind, develop your personality. This process of shaping personality lasts throughout all your life, because every experience changes us a bit, such as for example an accident, winning the lottery, leaving the partner or marriage to the love of life. Even some petty situations create new habits every day, even when we are completely unaware of this fact. When you meet nice people during the day, at once you feel better on the inside, and if you meet people of negative attitude, this will affect your mood. This way your habits and mood are created. You can automatically be nice, passive or rude. That’s what you are, depends directly on the habits that you have acquired during the journey of your life.

People with whom we live, generally have the greatest impact on us. We copy their words, gestures, behaviour, and virtually everything that can be copied. A well known roverb says that who keeps company with wolves will learn to howl.

The biggest influence on my personality had these people with whom I spent the most of the time. When I was young they were mostly my parents from whom I gained a lot of good behaviour and values, but also acquired a lot of unwanted habits, which I had to face going into adult life. Friends, coaches, teachers and partners I had, also influenced me and my perception of the world. From that time, I remember serving myself a whole range of emotional states. Lack of control of emotions was somehow typical. People with whom I spent most of the time exerted a huge influence on my personality. In retrospect, I feel as if I were hypnotized and then manipulated by each of these people. It hasn’t been just me, only I was a patchwork of people who I met on my way. But the biggest impact on my personality had both tragic experiences, as well as those related to travelling around the world. When I had time only for myself, walking through the slums toward the ocean in Ghana, I had a lot of time for thinking, and glimpses were coming suddenly and unexpectedly. Spending time with yourself, you provoke yourself to the inner dialogues while some unknown places and new experiences open mind leading to wise conclusions which can change us for life. Tragically, they were like a cold shower in the dead of the winter. I needed time to realize what really happened, although, the situations suggested changing the proceedings, but it wasn’t so – reflections and changes took time.

Years ago I had a friend, and no day passed when we didn’t meet. We lived in common dreams and daily we were driving each other for their realization. We treated the adversities of life like a challenge, because we knew that we can always count on each other. I treated him like a brother, who I did not have. In a minute, his life was over. My friend died in a tragic accident killed before my very eyes. He lost control of the motorbike, hitting the obstacle located a few feet from the place I was waiting for him. I will never forget this. This story would not be unusual, if not the fact that a few months before his death, he told me: Dawid, I know that I will die young and most likely I’ll die on a motorcycle. Remember, I want to be buried in one piece. His request was so serious that I was dried up. For a long time I knew that thoughts have the driving force and we should be careful what we are thinking and saying, but after this tragedy, it has given more significance to me.

His death then affected me very negatively. I felt like a part of me died with him. For a long period of time there was no night when I had nightmare about the tragedy I had experienced. I could not fall sleep. My mind was in a difficult to describe condition. Ego made me automatically grieving, in sadness and unhappiness and as a result in irrational behaviour. This state of torpor, not to say, obsession, was extremely strong – I though, I will never oppose this strong feeling. When I already succeeded to heal these self-destructive thoughts and emotions associated with this traumatic experience, I began to appreciate any given day. I realized that life is elusive and one should live it to the full. There is nothing worth worrying about because facing the death, all of the problems mean just nothing. Since, I do not know the day nor the hour when I die, I understood that I should enjoy every moment. To experience, discover, make dreams come true, and above all of that having fun doing that. This experience has changed me forever, but the true art of life is to become wiser while not having tragic experiences. Sometimes we may be run out time, if we learn only from our own mistakes.

You have already found out that experiences and people we meet create our personalities. In brief: You are a sum of your experiences – this personality that automatically responds and thinks for you is called Ego.

Here you need a while for afterthought. Awareness of the fact that the world around is constantly changing us, and not we are changing ourselves, should give you a lot to think about. Do you really realize that if something very positive happens in your life, such as winning the lottery or something tragic like the death of a loved one – you would be changed? The conclusion is simple. This, what you are like and what you can achieve, depends on things programmed in your mind by your parents, friends, school, teachers, people you met or television, books, press and the internet. Life, lived by you until now, was a combination of coincidence, since you are a coincidental personality. You know yourself best, so stop reading for a while and answer the following questions:

1. What life experiences have had impact on your personality? (positive or negative events);
2. Who is your character similar to? (mom, dad, friends, authority);
3. Which features of character do you like at yourself and which you wouldn’t like to have? (self-confidence, laziness);
4. Which of the features of character do you owe the achievement of your objectives, and which of them has made your dreams impossible to come true?

Have you ever noticed, how big impact on your personality, had the people in your immediate environment and random life events? Why haven’t you made your dreams come true – because of the features of character you wouldn’t like to have? Why aren’t you exactly this person who you really want to be? After all, it is you who have full control over yourself! However, you still have the features of character which you would like to get rid of. The answer is simple: from the earliest years till today, you have been controlled by your habitual and emotional thinking from the past. Any behaviour, thoughts and emotions are the result of what you have learnt from others or you have unconsciously copied. Giving the name to the personality that has been shaped under the influence of experiences, it would be called Ego.

Everything you ever thought or felt or what you have been experiencing, is in our subconscious, accumulated not only as a passive memory, but also as a driving force.

— Raymond Charles Barker

On the other hand, if not subconscious (an experience coded in your head), then you wouldn’t know why is the red light twinkling at a pedestrian crossing, and this could lead to disaster. In the subconscious mind all of the life experience is accumulated. This ability of storing and coding is essential for survival and functioning in society. The thing is to be conscious of this creation and not be dependent on it. Ego is the person in your head which pulls the strings, and your body like a marionette performs Ego’s commands.

When someone offends, betrays or surprises you – you automatically experience some emotions. Talking, being involved in a car crash, meeting an attractive person, or smashing a plate – each time you react automatically. Each of us is experiencing other emotions in the same situation it happens because we have different life experiences. It would be just different if you had ten years of experience more and this life situation would be completely different for your perception. Realize what Ego is, because so far it has been deciding for you, and how you should feel and what to think, not the conscious Me.