The boy who was third - ebook

Mom that’s me.

I was in so much pain that I thought I couldn’t stand it. That I won’t. At that moment, I guess I wanted to die. I just wanted to stop living. I wouldn’t wish such pain on my worst enemy. Today, remembering those moments, I wonder what to compare this pain to. There is no worse pain than the pain of stones in the gallbladder. Thank you to people who have the same as me and they don’t want to get rid of it. Quick surgery, two cuts and then a life without pain and fear. Current medicine makes everything easier, laparoscopically, without cutting. Doctors are educated and technology is very developed. There’s not even a trace.

I never knew when and in what situation this pain would hit me. It could have appeared after eating a slice of bread, or in my case after drinking a glass of water too quickly. Or just for no reason. unknown. This time he woke me up at night for no apparent reason. Well, this is the day, or actually the night, when it will happen. And it will hurt. It hurt so much.

I have thought many times to „cut down this devilishness. You can live without it. „But I didn’t have the courage. You can live without a gallbladder, without a kidney, like my youngest son Kacper. I am still alive without stomach. Not all organs are needed for happiness. You can live and function normally. Why bother when you can relieve yourself?

This time, I found it to be the last time my illness had an advantage over me. After all, I’m still young, I have my whole life ahead of me, so many dreams and desires. It’s high time to do something about it.

I rolled over at night from side to side. I sat down. I was getting up. I walked around the room on and on. I crouched. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, nothing helped.

Finally I looked into the cupboard — first aid kit with drugs. I took my last painkillers around 4 p.m. I searched other shelves with medicines, plates, a tea cupboard, a drawer with trinkets. ABOUT! I found a hammer. But what is he doing in the fork cabinet? Somehow that didn’t surprise me. Ever since the twins were born, I’ve found strange things in even more strange places where they shouldn’t be. Not to mention how many tools, screwdrivers and other strange tools I found scattered around the house that I couldn’t even name. And what to know what they are for.

I looked at my watch. 2:16. Not good … I had the feeling that the pain was getting worse …

I had similar pains before. But they passed quickly. This one was different. Long. Insistent. I couldn’t catch my breath. He did not let go like the previous ones.

I finally got to bed gently. I tried to do it quietly so as not to wake Robert and the twins sleeping behind the wall. Wall. good yourself. Wall is saying too much. In fact, it was a thin OSB board, a partition wall behind which the kids slept on the mezzanine. We lived on 25 square meters. It had to be somehow „embraced”. This room — our apartment and divide so that each has its own corner. Before, we lived in one from Warsaw’s housing estates in Ursynów in a two-room flat with my in-laws, on the third floor with no elevator in an even smaller room than this. I learned to tiptoe there. Literally. I didn’t feel well there. I had the impression that my husband’s parents were always watching me. They see but don’t look. They follow my every step and wait for my stumbles and mistakes.

Or maybe I was already falling into some phobias? Maybe I was paranoid? It is possible, but then I had the impression that my mother-in-law did not like me and my father-in-law „would not invite me to golf”.

When the twins were born, we decided to return to my family home. It was gonna be easier. It was supposed to be easier …

At least locally.

I thought so. And mom behind the wall. I had high hopes and promised myself a lot after this move. Unfortunately looking at it

In retrospect, I know that it was not a good idea, because after less than a year we moved to another place. But for now, I didn’t have to worry about bringing the twin wheelchair up to the third floor. I had three steps here.

In fact, we had three small rooms, a kitchen, and a small wardrobe in these „several” square meters and a hall. In addition, a larger room divided into two parts. A few years back it was a large guest room in my family house, with a blue sofa, two matching armchairs, a full-walled bookcase with crystals, family souvenirs and in the center of the room a mighty table of wood and heavy as Oak Bartek. In addition, there were six chairs around him with dark blue fabric fittings, the same as this immortal couch. Long live the People’s Republic of Poland. Eternal, unceasing, for some charming. Depressing and angry for me…

Everything in this room was reminiscent of the good pre-gomołka times, when the principle of „make a pledge and stand up” was professed. But I remember well that table, those chairs, that bookcase, that carpet. It all had its charm. The charm of the old days. Supposed better years. I remember wooden windows that did not close properly and when they were closed, they opened with difficulty. How bloody hell hit mom when she had to wash them. The window consisted of nine small panes separated from each other by wooden planks. Every housewife’s dream. They looked nice but washing them was a real nightmare.

This room has undergone many metamorphoses. Probably all generations of Chacińscy and Parżów lived there and now we were to live. The next generation. A young married couple with two children and great plans and hopes for the future. And we lived. I was very happy when my brother suggested that we should take this room and he would move to the first floor. Before moving, we did a general renovation, we got rid of the windows for more modern ones. I got rid of the table and chairs and my mother took the bookcase to her room. Twenty years pass and this bookcase is still there. Every time I visit my mother, I look at this bookcase, I am reminded of the place where it originally stood.

After our move, or rather after moving in from Ursynów, we made this small apartment. We made our little „paradise” out of this tiny room. We had a small kitchen here and in it a gas stove for four burners taken for our joint first marriage installments, a refrigerator, a long table top and kitchen cabinets. We had a dishwasher. We even brought water, installed a heater to have hot water. We put the fireplace on because there was no heating. Everything like in a normal kitchen. In a normal flat. How maybe not a stranger, but a separate and independent family. Because you know best on your own. The twins” room was right behind us. It was a small room with a mezzanine where they slept and chased each other around. Everything is separated by a partition wall. Opening the door to our apartment, a small corridor stretched straight ahead. He measured two steps. Coat racks and shoe cabinets stretched to the left and right. Small shelves overhead where you could put some knick-knacks, hats, scarves and the like. Usually it was always a mess. You could find the proverbial soap there and jam.

Slightly to the right was the entrance door to the main room. It was our bedroom-living room where we slept and we ate meals together. That’s where I drank with mum a coffee by the burning fireplace and we watched some goofy series.

On the right there was a fireplace in which we burned with wood. On the opposite side, a purple corner with huge down pillows, my childhood dream where we slept together with my husband, a small desk, one armchair and a suspended TV stand. Next, a partition wall and a twin room. Very tiny, but there was such a place for their toys, a wardrobe for children’s clothes and a mezzanine where they slept. The dressing room actually made a small storage room. In addition to our clothes, I had shelves for household chemicals and cosmetics. The bathroom was located in a different part of the building, we shared it with other household members and we washed ourselves in the twins” bathtub, heating water with gas. Well, those were the times. Eight years ago we lived in completely different conditions and a lot has changed since then. Man has gained new experiences and it can be said — he has grown up and put many things in his mind and thought over.

The pain continued. I started to panic a little but finally managed to fall asleep. I don’t remember how many times I looked at my watch. How many more times have I fallen side to side.

The next day we planned a barbecue with my husband’s friends. I had average fun. My stomach throbbed, throbbed. I was afraid to eat anything. When I finally felt hungry, I decided to eat something. I ate a grilled sausage and it was a mistake. or maybe not? If it wasn’t for this „meal”, maybe I would still be walking around with a ticking time bomb in me — my gallbladder … or maybe I would be gone because I wouldn’t survive the next pain?

I don’t think I’ve ever driven a car so fast. When I found myself in the hospital at ul. Banacha in Warsaw, opposite the doctor’s office, the doctors found obstruction of the bile ducts and promptly referred them for unclogging. My blood was drawn in the emergency department of the hospital and had an abdominal ultrasound scan and was referred to the ward. In fact, they immediately followed suit and after an hour I was already sitting in front of the operating room for ERCP treatment. I was not able to lie down. The pain increased and decreased. I had the impression that each subsequent attack was worse. I tried to calm down. To think of something pleasant. I closed my eyes. I imagined that I was already home with the twins. That I read them fairy tales, that I paint, draw and do puzzles with them. That we’re having fun again. I closed my eyes and saw these two little devils running around the room. This is for you, I thought. I must be healthy.

I could hear only scraps of words from behind the ajar door … pregnancy … fourth week … no obstacles. we will go sideways …

Those were the last words I remember. When I woke up in a hospital bed, everyone grinned at me and congratulated me. Nurses, doctors. Even the support staff asked if I needed anything. Need! Sleep. So I didn’t dream about it. There will be a baby.

The boy who came third, I thought. However, I myself chastised myself. How do you know it’s gonna be a boy. Hunch? Illusion? Or just the painkillers have already done their job. But I left right away. I was very tired and the anesthesia is not quite gone yet. The last thought I remember is „how is that possible? We were careful. I wanted to have one more child but when I finish my studies and write my master’s degree. Apparently someone had other plans for me. Someone wanted me to postpone my plans and take care of something else — raising children. Since I can remember „my affairs” I have put off until later. I have lived for others. It had to be that way now.

The facts were like this. And funny. Though I personally wasn’t laughing at that moment. I was maybe not broken, but a bit lost. Another child will completely turn my life upside down. After all, I have tiny twins, I do not have a stable house or apartment. Where is the next baby to these poor housing conditions?

The entire gastrology of the hospital at ul. Banacha was buzzing with gossip. Nurses smiled under their breaths as they passed me in the corridor and the doctor who operated on me was proud as a peacock that he was the first to diagnose pregnancy and I returned home without a gallbladder and with a tenant in the tummy.

Most importantly, everything ended well. At least for now. The pains subsided and I never had them again and I was getting used to the thought that I was not alone. That another boy would be crawling beside the twins in nine months” time. Don’t ask me why boy. Just a boy.

„The boy who came third.”Endoscopic retrograde cholangiopancreatography ERCP ERCP is one of the most effective methods of diagnosing pancreatic bile duct diseases. ERCP is also used to perform procedures — usually these two aspects are combined (diagnostic and therapeutic) — ERCP is an invasive method and carries the risk of complications, so it is rarely used only for diagnostic purposes. ERCP is a combination of an endoscopic method and a radiological examination. It allows you to remove deposits from the bile and pancreatic ducts, you can use it to put on prostheses, widen the bile ducts or take samples for further examination. ERCP allows in many cases to avoid surgery. It is performed when there is a suspicion of an obstacle in the bile outflow (this method allows you to accurately locate the obstacle and remove it during the examination), in the case of pancreatic diseases, also neoplastic diseases and in chronic inflammation of the bile and pancreatic ducts. Source: https://www.medonet.pl/

Here I must clear up a certain inaccuracy. I went to ERCP and it turned out that it would be safer to get rid of the gall bladder. The doctor stated that the pains could return and that it could lead to a miscarriage. So they finally cut my gallbladder, and since then I have forgotten what pain is.Chapter 2

_TWO YEARS LATER._

_KACPER_

I stood by the sea. My feet were all dirty and wet. They had belts up to their knees. It didn’t bother me at all. On the contrary. I thought it was another great fun, which I had more and more recently. I’m about to jump into the water, slap my bottom on the sand and wash them at the same time. I’ll get them dirty when I get out of the water. And flip flops and feet and knees. And swimming trunks. My mom bought me these nice blue ones. I had Fireman Sam on the front and all blue on the back. I liked this story very much.

And again and again. Although it was the first time I was at the seaside, I felt very good. As if I’ve known this place for a long time.

The sand was warm. But it was different from what I had at home or in the sandbox. This from the sandbox had a different color. The color is yellow. It had a lot of pebbles and no seashells. I was wondering why that one didn’t have shells. After all, sand is sand. But where did the shells go? Maybe Grandpa, when he brought it, forgot to add it? Or maybe all these snails were in such a hurry to escape that they took them with them? Mom said these shells were snail houses. And that he wears them on his back. It must be very difficult for him, since he carries the whole house on his back. And takes it everywhere. I wonder if it has a kitchen and a bathroom? And how does he want to pee or does it come out of the shell? When I want to pee, I go to the bathroom. It is such a room in a cottage. There is also a sink and a bathtub. Or a shower. And you can wash yourself. Handles and feet. And her mouth is dirty. And make a lot of foam in the bathtub. And then it’s a lot of fun.

This sand, here on the beach, is such a miracle that you can make various things from it and it does not break! Even when she spills it with water. Because I know three types of pen. The one here on the beach, the one in the sandbox, and the one in the house.

The sand in the house was pink, blue and green. My mother poured it into such a flat, transparent container that I would have free access to it. And it’s called somehow so strange. Mom said that sand was kinetic sand. A very difficult word. And weird. I could barely remember this difficult name.

Later in my life, I didn’t think about it anymore. What for? It is important that you can play with it in winter and summer, when you feel like it. It is poured into a huge plastic box. I have access to it at any time. I also have a large shell shaped cup and the snail. And a spatula, rakes, a bucket, and a watering can. But these snails are not real snails. The real ones are smaller and they run away. I don’t know why I like to play with them.

I waited for the wave to come. I’ve seen her from afar. I was curious what would happen when he came to see me. I didn’t have to wait long. Water with the force of a waterfall splashed over my little feet and took the sand away from my little feet. I looked down the elbows I had clean too. Fun fun. I wanted to bury myself in the sand again, but before I could sit down, the water tickled my bottom and the wave so strong knocked me over onto the sand. And I was all in the sand again. From the butt to the tiniest toe. I laughed out loud.

Mom ran up.

— Honey, don’t go too far.

I heard her warm, soft and gentle voice. He was concerned but not worried. She knew nothing bad would happen. After all, she was nearby. She was sitting on a blanket and she looked from me to the twins and to Dad.

Dad was nearby and the twins were swimming near the shore. They had big inflatable blue hoops around their waists. Dad kept running up to them. He was catching the ball, jumping over the waves. He threw the ball to them again. And so on and on.

Mama took me by my little hand and walked away a little from the seashore. The water no longer reached my bare feet. Now the sand has stuck to them again.

I looked to the left — water. I looked to the right — water … and sand everywhere. How did it get so much here? Were the excavators running?

and brought him here? Or maybe big bulldozers? The beach was huge! How many of these bulldozers would have to come here? A whole lot…

And excavators. And didn’t they get buried? How did they get buried and how did they get out of here? I’ll ask sometime about it mom.

Somewhere in the distance the world was ending. There was nothing to see far away. There is no land on the other side of the sea. Only water and water. And again the question. Why so much water? It rained a thousand days and a thousand nights and so many attacks? But it must have rained more days. Maybe there was a downpour? But why didn’t this water flood the sand? You can walk on it. And when you follow it, you leave traces.

I took two steps and looked back. I saw my tracks. I looked at my mother. I pointed at it with my finger.

„Yes, honey, these are your footprints, these are your little feet,” she said. I crouched down and looked at them. I touched the place where my foot had left its imprint. I saw a foot and five toes. How is it possible that this trace has stayed here? But not for long, because in a moment a great wave appeared and washed them away. Does not matter. I will make a thousand of such traces this summer. I can! Who will forbid me? I can walk. I can run! I can jump. I can have fun and nothing bad will happen.

I remembered something that made me sad. A few months earlier, I was lying in a hospital room. The walls were white. And I had a lot of crates and boxes around me and other devices. Lots of tubes, wires, cables and connections. I couldn’t move and the equipment around me looked terrible. I didn’t know what was happening. I heard the buzz, conversations of different people. I didn’t recognize those voices. I just knew it wasn’t mom. That it’s not dad. Where are they? Had they left me in my illness? Not! Are! I opened one eye saw my mother. I opened my other eye. I took my dad. Phew. I was relieved to be honest. I’m not alone here! I didn’t remember how I got here. I had no idea but the most important thing was that I was not alone here. Most importantly, when I woke up from the coma, I saw my mother and dad … and I was happier and better. And the tummy didn’t hurt like it used to. I was weak and sleepy but happy. Because she was mom and dad. Only the twins were missing. But it soon turned out that I would see them sooner than I expected.

I have a foggy memory of that. Like a bad dream that ended quickly. But unfortunately I do remember and whenever the memories come back, I hug my mother tightly. I can always hug her. Now, too, I hugged my mother’s legs so tightly that she knew what had happened.

She crouched down beside me. She hugged me. — Honey, it’s okay. Although, we’ll look for pebbles and seashells. After all, Grandma Ewa is waiting for shells from you. Do you remember? You promised you would bring her a whole handful of lovely shells and pebbles. Look! There is a seagull! It’s such a big bird, it’s probably looking for a fish for dinner, shall we try to catch it? She screamed so loud that the birds took flight. They made a circle over us, as if they wanted to show us that they have the upper hand over us and flew a little farther. They sat on the sand. One was looking for something with its mouth in the sand. I thought mom would try to catch them like she said but she held my hand tight and watched them.

Mom always knew what to say and what to do when I was sad. I wonder how she knows all this? How does he know what to say when I’m sad? As if changing the subject, I would forget about the sadness that surrounded me at that moment.

There were only light waves ahead of us and the wind was blowing. Warm and pleasant. The sound of the sea and the singing of the seagulls. There is no land in sight. I was wondering why. Just water, the outline of a pier in the distance. Does the world end there? There must be something behind this water.

From time to time I saw tiny ships drifting on endless waves. I had the impression that I saw little people waving at me from a distance. The people had smiling, happy and satisfied faces.

This vacation was beautiful. They were exceptional. Our first vacation. Joint vacation. Finally mom smiles honestly. I don’t think he’s afraid anymore. Or he is scared but does not show it.

*

My eyesight has improved since the last medical examination. And hearing too. I saw

and heard more. I didn’t have to strain my hearing to hear anything anymore.

And wrinkle my forehead and nose. My mother used to say that when I strain my ears, I frown. And the nose. And I prick up my ears. She knew very well that I couldn’t hear. Then she crouched next to me and she spoke only to me and I looked at her face and mouth. And it was better. Better because I was focusing on what she was saying to me. She also knew I could eavesdrop. She always repeated then and it concerned not only me but also the twins, that if we feel like eavesdropping on what he is talking about

Dad and I are supposed to listen with both ears. Because if we eavesdrop on one, we will miss or not hear fully and then there are misunderstandings.

Once Kubuś came home from school very sad. His eyes were red from crying. Mom was worried and scared. Finally my mother found out what happened. Kubuś heard two teachers talking about one.

One of the third-grade teachers died. Kubuś has been through a lot. He’s a very sensitive child. His mother explained to him that this was the case happens in life. That I was sick too, but I managed to overcome the disease. A few days later, my mother spoke with the twins” teacher. Because the twins go to school. For one class. By the way, she asked what happened to the little boy who died. And what turned out? That Winnie was eavesdropping with one ear, not two. And the case concerned an elderly gentleman who used to be a student at the school where the twins study. Now you know why we have to eavesdrop with two ears?

When I strain my hearing, I want to hear more than my ears can hear. I would like to see that. I’d like to see my nose wrinkle and I make funny faces. It sure looks funny. Sometimes I stand in front of a mirror and wrinkles my nose, shows my tongue. I open my mouths and make faces. He tries to touch his nose with his tongue, and I open my mouths wide. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror. I puff on them and blow. She laughs so loudly in the mirror that mom comes over. He kneels in front of me and we make similar faces together and it’s fun.

*

Some time ago I had surgery. I was two at the time. My kidney was cut out. Fortunately, everything ended well and I came home with my mum and dad. Finally saw the twins. I couldn’t wait to play with them. Why did the doctors cut my kidney? Because I was born sick. Pregnant mom found out that I would be sick. That I will be different. My kidney looked like grapes. And she didn’t want to work like the law. She made me feel bad, had a stomachache and a pee. I couldn’t pee calmly because everything hurt. In addition, it made me have to be in the hospital all the time. Eternal multi-organ infections, drugs, drips, research. It all took up a lot of my childhood life, and I had no time to play. For fun, for mischief, for visits from grandma and grandpa. Always separating from my brothers and not seeing my grandmother and grandfather for weeks. Finally the doctors decided. Finally, everyone seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Finally, information about the removal of a diseased organ — the kidney.

The only thing that reminds me of this operation now is the wound on my side. Mom says I have a second smile on my back. It’s actually a long, bright scar. From right to left. But I pay no attention to it. For what? I have more important things on my mind. Why bother with something that doesn’t hurt me? Why worry about something we have no control over.

Apparently, the cyst on the ureter has also been absorbed, but shhh. It’s a secret. I don’t think about it because I don’t even know what a cyst is. Probably a small tumor or growth. Or a big tumor that shouldn’t be there. I overheard my mom talking to my dad saying it’s okay. Yet you can live with one kidney. That it will only get better now. And you know what? I believe her. Mom never lies. Because why would she lie to me?

You can live with one kidney. You don’t know yet how much you can and what you can do. I’m a terrible bully. A boy full of energy. I can’t help it that I don’t like sitting still.

The child’s world is wonderful and flawless. No worries or worries. Full of fun, mischief and it should be so. And so it is. Although it was not always so.

*

I’m going to collect shells. I have to bring home something. I promised grandma Ewa and grandma Danusia. And Grandma Stasia. Yes! I have three grandmothers. Grandma Ewa is my mother’s mother. Grandma Danusia is my father’s mother and Grandma Staś is the oldest grandmother. This grandma is my mom’s grandma. So my great-grandmother. I still have a fourth grandmother. Her name is also Grandma Danusia, she is Grandpa Leszek’s mother. It’s a bit complicated, I admit, but it’s nice to have so many grandmothers. Especially when Christmas or birthdays are going. Then we get a lot of presents! One gift from each grandmother equals four gifts! One from mum and dad — sometimes two, so it’s already six gifts. Even when the aunts come: aunt Gosia with uncle Tomek and aunt Magda, with uncle Sławek are the next two gifts. And it’s fun!

And probably Grandpa Jurek will want one shell, so I have to try and collect more. Grandpa Jurek is my mom’s dad. I think I have already explained everything thoroughly and I remembered. Because it is so complicated.

ABOUT! There are a lot of seashells! They just came ashore with another wave! I’ll take my brothers by the hand. Kuba on the right, Wiktor on the left. We will go and collect shells and beautiful pebbles. It’s so beautiful here!

I would like to come back here next year.

The next summer when it’s so warm and sunny. When the next school year is over.

We will definitely come back here. I know it. Parents will try to do that. And if not to the same beach, then to another. It will be fun anyway. There will be other shells and pebbles, and the wave will knock me over again. I stopped at the seashore again.

Such a beautiful sight. I admire every moment. I look around — sand and water everywhere.

And that sunset. The sky is colorful then. Red, yellow, purple, orange. There are so many colors that I am not able to grasp and name them. Such a beautiful world. A world without a hospital bed, no tests, no syringes.

With mum, dad, twins.

*

December 2019

How old am I turning today, you ask? Four! Today I’m blowing off the big cake in the shape of a Pepa pig, four equally large birthday candles. And I’ll make a wish. I don’t know what I would like. Probably a huge mountain of toys and a house full of guests. I like when grandmothers come and grandparents, aunts and uncles. But really, I think I would like my mum and dad to be with me always. Let them be happy and smiling. And twins. The world is sad without them. No one to play with and mess with.

Yes, I am 4 years old. How quickly it passed. I remember how holidays were and how I was splashing in the great ocean. How I sailed by ship and motorboat. How my mother bought me a huge seagull mascot and how I fell asleep in a stroller in Łeba and my mother gently rocked the stroller and shielded me from the eyes of curious onlookers. And against the warm rays of the summer sun. Year after year, day after day.

I didn’t even look back and I’m already four years old.

I’m already running, I’m already jumping and I’m happy about every little thing. I play football, although my mother screams that it is impossible to be home. I blow balloons, although not so long ago it was a great difficulty for me, because my small lungs, weakened by the disease, were unable to cope with breathing.

Once we broke a vase with the twins in the hallway of the house. Mom got very upset because I cut myself. The vase fell off the wall-hanging rack and hit me on the shoulder …

It almost fell off and hit me in the head. I didn’t want to mess up. Somehow it turned out the same. My mom got scared because he kind of hit me he could hurt me in the head. The broken head and the hospital again. Or maybe even stitching the cut skin on the head. And I don’t want to stay in the hospital anymore. Since I was born, I was more at home in the hospital. Until I was two, my home was a hospital. Eternal infections and a disease that would not show itself. Or doctors who couldn’t diagnose her? But that’s all in the past. I hope he won’t come back.

But that’s the way it is. I am a child bursting with energy. Another time I broke the cup. I didn’t know it was made of glass … because how was I supposed to know? Another time I threw off another cup it didn’t break. It turned out to be plastic. Just water it spilled on the floor with great panache and flooded half of the living room floor and the wall and glass. My mother leaned on her hips, she smiled under her breath and I was wondering if she would shout at me.

Eventually I messed up again because I’m so clumsy. But now I know. The plates and cups are made of glass. And glasses too. Although there are cups made of plastic and plates but mum doesn’t like them. He says that they wash very badly and only use glass ones and ceramic ships. I wonder why the plates are called ships. After all they they are nothing like ships or even sailboats. I had one plastic cup. It was called the non-spill. In my opinion, this mug was magical and magical. When mom poured tea into him and screwed on the lid it was possible to shake it and nothing spilled. I did various experiments. I turned it upside down and nothing. Not a drop had fallen out of it. I even tried to toss it up or put it on its side and nothing. Mom was looking at me and nodding her head at what I was doing best.

Vases and various strange figurines are also made of glass. We even have a glass candlestick. It’s weird because it’s rectangular in shape. And there’s this weird squiggle at the top. I don’t know what it is but it looks funny. Several times I secretly took it in my hands to see it up close. I was so curious. But I quietly put it back on the shelf whenever I heard my mother’s footsteps.

I know mom doesn’t like him very much. But why, I have no idea. Maybe she doesn’t like it because it’s transparent? Or too big? Or it’s just another item that needs to be washed and wipe the dust off? It says it’s sitting and collecting dust. Because there are so many things in the house. Things that need to be wiped from dust and serve no purpose.

Recently, my mother has taken a step. She wanted to make it easier for herself to work at home. She put everything in the dishwasher, which made very strange noises while washing. I was afraid that it would open and the water would run out. Or that all the plates will fall out. The door will suddenly open and a great foam monster will come out of it. Or some other big creature scares me into getting me wet. No, this diaper is such a joke because I have been dealing with the toilet for a long time. I have a special blue step with a Mickey Mouse and an overlay so that my little bum does not fall into the toilet. And it happened more than once that in a hurry that I forgot the cover and called my mother for help.

And mom was running upset because I had something up again. It must have been ridiculous to see my mom rush into the bathroom and all she could see was my feet waving in the air. The very thought makes me smile to myself.

*

I don’t like sitting still. Because then it’s very boring. Anyway, what child likes to sit

in place of? I don’t think any. Anyway, I don’t know that. Even twins, my brothers. They are constantly running and I try to keep up with them, and although I am small and much younger, sometimes I succeed. I run and jump outside. I ride a bike, help my grandma in the garden and quietly steal her juicy and red strawberries. Or raspberries. Or gooseberries. Because grandma has a garden. Trees grow there and shrubs. But also fruit. Apples, peaches, gooseberries and grapes. Grandma says that next year we will plant carrots and parsley. Then it will be fun. I’ll get my plastic rake and a shovel and I’ll rush to help. She will dig one hole, then a second and a third, and grandma will put vegetable seeds in there, which will grow to the sky like crazy. And the vegetables are delicious. I like carrots. I steal it from my mother when she peels it for tomato soup or broth. It’s really delicious and I like to munch on it and my mother looks at me and is happy. Sometimes I try to steal those carrots without my mom seeing. Unfortunately. Mom must have a sixth sense. As soon as he looks at me, he knows he’s going to lose something. And this time she knew. She looked at my orange-smeared face, then at the counter, and you know what happened to the carrot.

As I said, vegetables are delicious. I don’t understand how you can dislike them. Do all children eat carrots? They’re so delicious and healthy. But this kind of stealing food doesn’t stop at carrots.

You can steal anything from the kitchen counter. If only my short handle reaches it, of course. For example, a sausage when mom makes homemade pizza, or an apple when she bakes apple pie. I also love kabanos sausages. I can eat them endlessly.

At home, mum tries to diversify our time. Although it is not easy. In addition to home duties and professional work, the mother has to help the twins do their homework, cook dinner, wash and iron. Fortunately, my mother works at home at the computer and all day I keep my eye on her. He can even type on the computer while holding me on my lap without looking at the keyboard. And I can always think of an activity to focus its attention on me. Either I pull her ear or her nose. Sometimes I take her eraser hair or pretend to type on the keyboard with her. Very strange things come out that no one understands. Some alien language like this:

koabxkoc opjcjcalsdf lfdkfdjf odfjfDJ m turned out that doctors delayed the Caesarean section too long and when I was born I had cyanosis and a bilateral cerebral hemorrhage. Apart from the fact that I was born with polycystic left kidney disease, which led to the fact that this organ was later removed from me.

It all led to that in later school years I had a very big problem not only with writing but also with speech. Other specialists diagnosed hearing problems, delayed speech, partial paralysis of the right arm and reduced muscle tone. Later, I heard my mother talking to my father. She said that she went to the hospital at 12:00 and was taken from the emergency room to the maternity ward only at 19:30. I was born at 22:53. I was suffocating in my mother’s tummy for so long and the amniotic fluid slowly drained by itself. Unfortunately, no one was held responsible for this mistake … the doctors did not find time to answer my father’s question why my mother waited so long for her caesarean section to be performed. I know one more thing. That mom is a hero. She then told the doctor who kept her in the hospital emergency department that she would not leave here until she gave birth today because she felt something was wrong with me. She hadn’t felt my movements for several hours, and if she’d let go then, I probably wouldn’t have been here in that hospital corridor.

*

After the twins do their homework, mom lets them play games. They have a choice of console, computer, phone or tablet. That’s a lot of equipment we have at home. Mom has a computer, tablet and phone. But she says that these devices are needed for her work. Although I recently watched her play on a tablet into a bear named Toon Blast.

My mom is very strict about tablet gaming. We can only play two hours a day. I also have my own phone, I got it from Grandma Damusia for her birthday. I have games installed on it that I like a lot, for example, a cat. I’ve written about him before. It’s my favorite game. But I already told you about these games. But the phone often gets boring quickly. Then I put it on the shelf and run in search of dad. Dad always has a lot to do. He says he always has something to do. When he is at home, he fixes cars or rummages in the garage. He likes doing it a lot. He also says that the day is too short and the work is too much. When he is not repairing the car, he mows the grass or cuts firewood to keep us warm in the winter.

We usually mow the grass on Saturdays in the morning. Then it’s hot and dad says it’s dangerous because when the sun is hot you can get a stroke and pass out. And I always wear a hat on my head

I proudly follow my father. First we go to the garage. We prepare the mower and the long extension cord to reach the farthest corners of our yard. Dad is a great guy. He loves us very much and we his. I can’t imagine my life without my dad. I don’t like going to work and coming back in the evening. He misses so many games. But Daddy has to go to work. I would like him to work at home like my mother would then at any time ask him to play with me. I could sit on his lap and play with it endlessly. I could also draw and paint with him. Dad makes beautiful drawings. Sketches of the car and campers. Draws everything what will I ask him for. And he takes page by page and draws. And I am happy because I am with Dad.

*

But it wasn’t always as fun and rosy as it is now. Now I’m big and strong. I can walk and talk now. I can even count to ten in English. I can name colors and ride a bike by myself. And when I don’t feel like it, my dad or mom drives me in a special trailer attached to the bike.

I remember when I was born. How I was born. I remember the hospital, the doctors, the bustle of the delivery room and mummy’s kiss

with the question: „why isn’t he crying?”.

and answer:

— Because he is weak and giving birth is also a lot of effort for the baby.

Exactly 4 years ago I was born. As the third child of his parents. First there was Cuba. Then there was Victor. Or vice versa? Even though they were born on the same day at the same time. Minute by minute, actually. How it’s possible? It doesn’t fit in my little head. Two spears in one tummy? It is incomprehensible to me. Mom must have had a big belly. I’m the youngest. There are advantages to this and disadvantages. The advantage is that when I mess up, I often get baked. Though unfortunately not anymore…

But to the point. Four years ago I fought with the disease, the consequences of which I feel to this day, and although I have gone through a lot today, I know that you can live with this disease. And I’m alive. Even though some doctors didn’t give me a chance. They said I wouldn’t make it. That I will be too weak. That I won’t take a step. That it will be hard. And here please. Lives and I will live. First I learned to raise my head, then I sat down. And how surprised I was when I saw so many interesting things around me. I saw mom and dad, and though I’d seen them before, they looked different somehow.

I haven’t looked at it from that perspective yet. Until now, when I opened my eyes, I saw the ceiling and the mobile attached to the crib. Animals were spinning around on it and emitting various friendly sounds and songs. They often put me to sleep but they also woke you up when they played too loud. I was also often woken up by the twins” laughter as they giggled behind the rails of my crib. They held their hands on the railings and spoke in their twin tongues. Often my mother said she didn’t understand them. That before they could speak, they had their „magic twin language”. Known only to them. I didn’t understand them either. I saw a lot of toys, mascots in the crib. And grandmothers with grandpa. But which grandmother was it? There were a lot of people around me all the time. I don’t remember many of them. After all, I was little and I just wanted to eat and sleep. Because what else can a newborn do but not sleep?is a ten-point scale according to which the vital functions of a newborn are assessed — https://www.cefarm24.pl/czytelnia/zdrowie/matka-i-dziecko-zdrowie/skala-apgar-wyniki-jak-ocenic-stan-noworodka/

Application — a phone game, a tablet game that consists in breaking blocks of the same color.

An instant messenger, popular since 2000, created by the GG Network company, the logo of which was a smiling sun.

Endoscopic retrograde cholangiopancreatography ( ERCP ) — examination of the bile ducts and pancreas. ERCP examination is a combination of endoscopic and radiological methods. Endoscopic retrograde cholangiopancreatography is of the greatest importance in the treatment of stenosis of the biliary and pancreatic ducts, and bile duct stones. Source Wikipedia.

Medications to prevent early birth.

Removal of the kidney from the body.

Catholic-Christian holiday is celebrated in Poland on January 6 in memory of the trip of the three kings: Casper, Melchior and Balthazar to Bethlehem. They have come to worship the newborn Jesus.

Mascot from the series — fairy tales „Doctor Tosia”