The Obsession for Perfection. Become a sport legend - ebook

Mission statement

My goal is to set free your underlying potential so that you can achieve spectacular success. My dream is to see athletes who are awakened. I cherish the moment when the impossible becomes possible. When low self-esteem turns into gigantic self-confidence. When lack of self-belief is replaced with unswerving faith. When mediocrity is transformed into excellence. When our conscious and premeditated actions result in dreams changing into reality. I believe this book will change you, and then it will go on to change the face of sport all over the world.

— Dawid PiątkowskiWhat is this book about?

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do.

— Pele

It is the first book in the world devoted to personal growth of athletes, their parents and coaches, whose foundations are purely spiritual. The author unveils the secrets of the mind that have not been described until now; those that have a direct influence on the effectiveness of training programs and results achieved in sport. Success relies directly on the athlete’s mind – the ability to control thoughts, emotions, habits and the strength of character. He also proves that the most important qualities of distinguished athletes are hard work, willpower, fighting spirit and the desire that is driven by the overriding goal – dreams coming true. Only such approach will produce world’s greatest athletes. This book outlines how to change an athlete’s personality in a simple manner so that they can achieve results unattainable to them so far. What will you learn and what will you achieve if you take over the control of your mind? You will:

1. Adopt an entirely new personality – you can literally choose your character qualities.
2. Harness your emotions – no more self-destructive thoughts, emotions and habits.
3. Sustain the state of perfection – an intuitive state of mind which brings out the best of you.
4. Outlast the threshold of pain stepping outside your comfort zone during physical work-outs so that you will be able to see the results in a month’s rather than a year’s time.
5. Practice with intention – a fast way to develop technical and physical skills.
6. Get addicted to hard work – unwavering motivation and determination to do Spartan work-outs.
7. Discover massive self-confidence – typical of prominent athletes.
8. Begin your quest for greatness…

The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person’s determination.

— Tommy Lasorda

Welcome to the sport of the future, where self-control and self-development set new standards. It is now faith, vision, desire, willpower and pursuit of perfection that set out new boundaries. Welcome to my world, where the impossible does not exist.Foreword – genesis

What to do with a mistake: recognize it, admit it, learn from it, forget it.

— Dean Smith

My adventure with sports began in 1994. The origins of my career resembled those of many other athletes. My elder sister played tennis and suggested I sign up for it as it was a fun leisure activity. And so it began, quite by accident. I played sporadically the first couple of years, only an hour, twice or three times weekly. No one would predict that I would become a professional player at that point. It wasn’t until my first coach said to my father that I was talented and we should give it a go in a local competition that my father got the tennis bug and I followed suit.

My trophy collection includes more than 20 medals from national championships in all age categories. I had taken the podium 150 or so times in national and international tournaments. I gave up on professional practice at the age of 19 due to financial and family reasons. I went on to win a couple of more medals and took part in various tournaments, but I would treat it as a hobby from then on.

I took stock of my life once my career was over. I would look for reasons why I had failed to achieve more and had not conquered the world. I had made so many mistakes. I would never work hard enough nor would I give my all. The absence of a goal, vision or a dream for which I would be willing to die for was the reason why I had been so inefficient during my tennis practice. I remember the time when I attended trainings, played a little, then went back home. No heart pounding, no fighting spirit, no quest for perfection, I might as well have gone shopping for groceries. Even though I loved playing tennis, my practice was downright monotonous.

At the age of 16, I got to know my mentor, the late PhD Jerzy Wiekoszyński. He showed me what self-development and professionalism meant. He opened my eyes to the world which I had failed to see before. During our meetings he would explain to me what physical practice and rehabilitation for athletes was about, and how I should go about analyzing footage so that I could brush up on my technique. He would also tell me about his life; what mistakes he had made himself and what he had learnt from them. These few hours with him had taught me more about training and life than I had learned in my entire life. He made clear to me the importance of self-development. It may sound trivial but it really is not. By posing the right questions, you find ways to improve your technique or fitness. Questions are powerful tools as long as they are backed by determination and strong will to find the answers. Unfortunately, I met him too late in my life to learn to play tennis to the best of my potential.

Back in the days when I was still a sportsman, the doctor would repeatedly invite athletes with their parents to involve them in a conversation about sport, trainings and how to make it together. These lectures normally lasted about 2 hours and he would willingly share his experiences with us. I was 17 at that time. After one such lecture he asked my mom Alina to talk to him in private and said: Your son is going to make a good coach in the future. He is gifted. You tell him that from me when you think he is ready. And my mom kept the promise. When I was 20, I started my first coaching job. I would still visit my mentor every now and again. Time went by. Then one day I got a phone call that the doctor, my mentor, had died at the age of 80. At his funeral, which naturally was a miserable event, for the very first time in my life I cried tears of joy. I realized that he had left a part of him in me; the knowledge, the values and the ability to develop as a person was his entire legacy. I reflected on many things that day reminiscing about all the good and valuable things that the doctor had introduced into my life. I came to a decision that I would become a coach and make sport a priority in my life. I wanted to pursue the knowledge and values that I had learnt from my mentor. I came home to join my parents for dinner that evening and we looked back on all the good things he had brought under our roof. I told my parents that I had decided to become a coach and that I could not imagine doing anything else in life. Then my mom recalled the doctor’s words. I felt this warm and pleasant sensation in my heart but I also felt massively motivated by his words. I did not want to let him down.

Ever since I got to know my mentor I have developed an interest in the workings of a man’s mind. Self-development has become my second most important passion. When I was through with my tennis career, I set out on a journey to explore the depths of my own mind. I would devour knowledge incessantly day in day out. I got addicted to self-deve-lopment and self-control. 10 year after, I finally have learnt to truly control my emotions. I have not had a negative thought running through my head nor have I had a bad day for years now. I have no idea what lack of motivation or dispiritedness mean. Not a day goes by without me realizing my dreams.

I am currently helping athletes to unveil their underlying potential. Almost 20 years of experience as a professional athlete myself, backed by the 10 years I spent developing as a person, not only lets me solve athletes’ problems with ease but also lets me fill them with hope, self-confidence and determination so that they can go places. After only 2 hours in a meeting with me they will do things that are theoretically impossible. I light up fire in their hearts and feed their minds on knowledge and experience. They take control of their own emotions and start shaping their future single-handedly. They come to realize that everything is up to them. I am about to share my secrets with you. So keep on reading, analyze and draw conclusions while you are filled with an inner desire to strive for self-perfection.1. Warrior’s self-esteem

What are you doing today to become a champion?

— Drayton McLane

Many athletes reckon that they train hard and wise. Everybody has one goal or another, which they ostensibly pursue. Ostensibly they “give their all” during every practice. Well… almost every practice. Generally speaking, many sportsmen are convinced that they have got it right. Athletes, their parents and coaches are oblivious to the fact that they are making mistakes that lead to mediocrity rather than excellence.

Every time an athlete comes up to me I start a conversation by asking him or her a simple question: Why are you here? Whether they are Olympians, world famous athletes or those taking part in local competitions only, the answers are always similar. Most likely they have issues with motivation, self-confidence, stress, concentration, etc. (I am seldom approached by athletes who are driven by sheer self-development, not struggling with any other issues). I then ask further questions: Why do you want to change that? Why do you want to be self-confident? There is a moment of hesitation on their side. They start to talk about situations when these issues trouble them. I ask them again: But why would you change that? Do you want to be second to none? Then comes the smirk. I know right away that the athlete lacks self-confidence and has no ambitious goal to aspire to. My next question follows: What would you like to achieve? What is your aim? Think long and hard before you tell me what your dreams are because I am about to explain to you why you haven’t got there yet. Then I will go on to teach you how to make those dreams come true. Once imagination starts to run wild, they will come up with a whole bunch of ambitious answers such as winning Olympic gold, being a member of German Bundesliga or securing a top 10 position in the world’s tennis rankings. Admittedly, all expressed with a subtle smirk indicating disbelief: This can’t be possible anyway! It is only now that I get down to the nitty-gritty. I will refer back to a conversation which is recurrent, regardless of the sport in question. This one I had with a football player who happened to be a national team member in juniors.

All players think they train sufficiently hard. Neither too much nor too little. I ask the player: How much effort do you put in daily to make your dreams come true? The answers are invariably the same as they oscillate around 2 to 4 hours daily. The player answers that he practices 2 hours daily in high season. Do you honestly think that by practicing 2 hours daily you will be able to play for Bayern Munich? He answers: No… I ask: Then why would take the trouble and learn to control your emotions if 2 hours daily isn’t going to take you anywhere? It now starts to dawn on him that the problem lies elsewhere. I start to dig deeper. So, tell me now, how much time the ball is right there at your foot during every training? Take away the time when you pass the ball to the other player and wait for him to return it. How much time is the ball at your foot during the 2 hour practice? Having mulled it over, he says: From 3 to 10 minutes. Sometimes up to 15 minutes, but that would be rare. I suddenly see a sparkle in his eye. He realizes that he barely has contact with the ball throughout a day. What does 15 minutes mean against 16 hours a day, assuming we sleep 8 hours? Then I go on to explain to him what a professional practice is like. I tell him about diligence, determination and the number of hours world’s best football players spend in the gym and on the pitch and the privilege I had working with Kuba Błaszczykowski and many other European football stars under the watchful eye of my mentor Dr. Wielkoszyński. It becomes clear that my partner in conversation has not trained hard enough in his entire life, has had no concrete goal which he aspires to and which would boost his motivation; he thought he got it right but, in fact, he didn’t! Sport takes precedence over everything else in world’s best athletes’ lives. 2 hours’ work out in the gym in the morning, 3-4 hours of football practice, 1 hour of physiotherapy and 2 hours’ mental training account for 7-8 hours daily devoted to training and development. Having brought this fact home to him I then go on to the motivational aspect. Do you realize how talented you are? Having trained so little you have become a national team player! Now imagine where it’ll take you if you train harder. Only the best players in the best clubs will train 7-8 hours daily. The majority of athletes spend 1.5 hours up to 4 hours practicing daily. There are no competitors for you out there. It is bound to bring a sparkle in his eye. He begins to understand that by committing he can make his Bundesliga dream come true. But how can you not believe it if 95% of world’s footballers practice 2 hours daily thinking it will improve their game? It is sheer ignorance, and it is their coaches’ fault. Such is the story in many other sports.

During my sessions with athletes of all sports I came to realize that the biggest problem was not lack of self-confidence, pre-match stress or family issues, but a total ignorance regarding a few basic facts and the inability to answer a few basic questions:

1. Why do you practice sport?
2. What is our aim?
3. Do you give your all to achieve it?
4. Do you realize that in order to compete with others you have to practice from 4 to 10 hours daily?
5. You can’t possibly think that by practicing 2 hours daily you will become a champion in anything…

I explore causes rather than effects of issues affecting low self-esteem and shaky motivation. The root cause of the vast majority of inner problems in athletes is the absence of aim, vision or dream for which they would be willing to sacrifice their time and their lives. How can you possibly make sacrifices on a daily basis if you are not fighting for your dreams? What is the point of being self-confident if you don’t aspire to be the world’s best? Why come up against adversities if there is no overriding goal? Many athletes fall prey to mental- and practice-related monotony. They get up in the morning, do this or that, go practice, do this or that again, and go to sleep. And enter competitions every so often. Sometimes they do well, sometimes they do badly. But there is no heart, no vision, and no dreams to it.

Think about it: if you devote an additional 2 hours daily to eliminate your greatest weaknesses, it’ll make you better, won’t it? Now, I can almost hear the voice of rest advocates: Well, yes, but you mustn’t overdo it! Stay away from people who think you are working too hard. Don’t get into this debate, just get on with it! Most athletes live a normal life and happen to practice sport for the sake of it. Most likely, a thought has run through your head right now: But how awful this must be – so many sacrifices, so much drudge-ry… Some drudgery! To be responsible for your health, your body and your mind. To visit spa for physiotherapy, to go to the gym to strengthen your body and to read wise books to acquire knowledge on diet, training and emotional, personal and spiritual development. To constantly strive for perfection with a view to seeing your dreams come true. Can you actually picture a better life than one where you try to realize your ambitions while developing your inner self?

One of the best examples to support the theory that hard work will yield results is that of Kobe Bryant. He is claimed to be one of the most outstanding players in the history of NBA, next to the likes of Michael Jordan, Shaquille O’Neal or LeBron James. There are legends circulating of his out-of-this-world diligence. Rumor has it that he would turn up for practice at 5 a.m. and finish at 7 p.m. when he was in high school. I will re-tell a story about Kobe Bryant and his work ethics, which was told by one of the LA Lakers coaches.

During pre-Olympic preparatory period in London in July 2012 team USA took part in an exhibition match. One of the coaches offered Kobe his assistance if he was up for an additional practice. At 4.15 in the morning Kobe called the coach asking if he was still ready to help him. Of course he was, even though he was rather taken aback by the ungodly hour. After about 20 minutes he was in the gym, while Kobe had already been sweating it out. Apparently, he had been there for more than 15 minutes. They stayed in the gym until 6.00, and then worked out for another hour. After two trainings at around 7 a.m. the coach got back to the hotel to take a nap before the next practice with the national team, which was due at 11.00. He showed up on the dot after he had had breakfast and his three-hour sleep. He started to talk to the players whilst Kobe was throwing in the distance. He came up to him to discuss their morning practice:

Coach: You did a hell of a good job this morning.

Kobe: Hm?

Coach: You know, our practice…

Kobe: Oh, that… thanks. I appreciate it.

Coach: When did you finish?

Kobe: Finish what?

Coach: You know, throwing. What time did you leave the gym?

Kobe: I am almost done. I aimed at 800 throws and I am about to call it a day.

The coach’s jaw dropped. It was then that he realized the legends circulating of Kobe’s unparalleled diligence were real and it suddenly became clear why he was one of the best basketball players in all of NBA history. There are legends going around of long and strenuous trainings of other athletes such as Muhammad Ali, Tiger Woods, Rafa Nadal, David Beckham, Michael Phelps, Michael Schumacher, Michael Jordan or Bruce Lee. Every distinguished athlete would put in a lot of sweat, regardless of the sport they practiced. Take it from me, overdoing it was the very last thing on their minds.

Self-esteem

We will begin mental training with self-esteem in order for you to be able to understand why you are where you are, not elsewhere. It is important that you pinpoint the causes of why you have not achieved what you aspire to so far. Almost every athlete knows what his / her weaknesses are. However, a very scrupulous and insightful analysis on all grounds is rare.

Evaluate yourself on a scale from 1 to 10. Mind you, 10 is typical of the world’s best athletes in a given sport – compare yourself with them.

Outside sport:

What are you like in your private life – what aims, dreams have you realized? ......

Are you happy every single day? ......

Do you have control over your negative emotions? ......

Do you get on well with people around you? ......

Are you generally pleased with your life? ......

Your personal life has a direct impact on your emotions, your mood and willingness to do things. You may struggle with problems or you may be happy in life; whichever is true – it will all affect the quality of your practice as well as your results during competitions. An athlete who struggles with a myriad of problems is doomed to lose concentration, high level of motivation, self-confidence and will never work as hard as the one who has no issues and is essentially a happy person in life.

I have cooperated with many athletes who have been successful nationally and globally. If you have coached someone for a long period of time you can tell at first sight if everything is okay. Still, I ask them before every practice how they are feeling. In my experience, the mood we are in at the moment directly influences the quality of our practice. Head down, sluggish footwork and distraction are all signs of low spirits.

You mustn’t downplay them. I inspire athletes to train harder by giving them a motivational talk. It is not always easy, but I will be persistent. You will come up with loads of feeble excuses and if you are into mediocrity you will call it quits or not give it your best. Those athletes who have a clear goal in mind and strive to achieve it will never cut their practice short, let alone call it off, which is unheard of. If you let up, you will get used to such behavior, and it will no longer be your fault only, but also that of your coach, who put up with it and failed to motivate you accordingly. That’s how habits are formed on both sides. Some will consider this approach inhuman. I consider it professional.

During trainings:

Do you give your all during trainings? ......

Do you like to train hard? ......

Do you control your emotions? ......

Are you constantly motivated? ......

Your approach in trainings will determine your ability to succeed in the most difficult moments. If you are not driven by the urge to achieve an important goal, you will not put in as much effort into your practice as the athlete who is driven by the ambition to go down in the history of sport as one of the greatest.

As a retired professional tennis player, I had not had the privilege to get to know many athletes who would give their all during every practice all year round. Although I had accumulated a collection of 20 medals in Polish Championships, I had never really trained to the best of my potential myself. Quite to the contrary, looking back on my youth – my trainings were downright pathetic. Every time I got tired, I acted like a wimp, feeling sorry for myself. I would go practice like I would have gone for a walk. I did not aspire to hone my skills nor did I think about realizing my dreams every day. My approach was taken over by monotony, similar to that you associate with going to school. Get it over with and go back home to play computer games. There wasn’t an ounce of willpower, passion, or a goal or dream I would be willing to die for. I was ignorant about what it was that I was fighting for, I didn’t believe that I could go places nor did I realize the consequences of it all.

During competitions:

Commitment ......

Faith in victory ......

Self-confidence ......

Positive attitude? ......

Fighting spirit? ......

Depending on the qualities of character that were shaped while you were developing as an athlete, you will either maintain your self-confidence and faith in victory or succumb to negative thoughts, which often leads to paralyzing emotions. A moment of hesitation may result in a minor mistake, which keeps victory at bay.

As a player I won dozens of matches thanks to my personality alone. I didn’t deserve to win many of them going by skills or disposition of the day. But I was so self-confident that I didn’t even let myself think for once I could lose it. On the face of it, I won many matches I should have lost and it was due to such spirit. Unfortunately, self-confidence alone will not suffice. I would struggle with mood swings – one day I was up for a good fight, another day I would be disturbed by air pressure. Every reason was good enough to blame my behavior and negative emotions on external factors. No one drummed it into me that I was able to control it. Nobody around me would, and so I let myself give in to it.

I remember vividly a match I played in an international tournament Europe Tennis Association in Tel Aviv. I stepped on the court to play against a local player. I will never forget the sight of him entering the court – short, slouching, with orthodontic braces on his teeth, his hair old-school to say the least, with his racquet squeezed under his arm, a carrier bag from a local store in one hand and a flask in the other. I had five racquets myself, a huge bag with loads of supplements, a change of clothes, several towels, water and some overgrips – I was fully and professionally equipped. The warm-up proceeded. I played with a smile on my face, and I was on the verge of bursting into laughter. As it was drawing to an end, a friend of mine came up to me and asked: What do you make of his game? I answered: a walk in the park. 30 minutes tops. After 20 minutes or so he came up to me again and asked again: What’s the score? I am 0 / 6 down. I had him in stitches. He went to get the others to root for me. They were having a blast quoting my walk in the park line. After more than a three-hours’ battle in a 95-degree Fahrenheit heat, I clinched the victory 7 / 6 in the decider. Not because I was better, on that particular day I was not. It was my juvenile pride that would shut out defeat.

There were also those matches I happened to lose before I had even stepped on the court. I had felt it in my bones that it would be tough. I would enter the stadium thinking I must give it a try. I would be debilitated by stress to the extent that my legs would start shaking. It would later turn out that my opponent was within reach and I would have been able to win it.

It was due to the inability to control emotions and negative thoughts that I lost many matches I should have theoretically won.

Motor skills:

Speed ......

Endurance ......

Strength ......

Agility ......

Coordination ......

These days requirements regarding fitness are incredibly high. However, only a small percentage of “professional” athletes will pay attention to it from the word go. The higher the level, the more important fitness becomes. As long as your technical skills are not high enough, fitness will be of secondary importance. But when your rival is on the same technical and mental level as you are, fitness will come to the forefront.

As a player I demonstrated all kinds of behaviors during fitness work-out. There was a time when I trained hard but unwise. The work-out would focus on developing endurance. It didn’t embrace strength, speed, or footwork. When I came into contact with better trainers I lacked commitment, heart and desire to become fitter every day. When I felt pain, I avoided further repetitions. I didn’t realize that by stepping outside my comfort zone I could develop my fitness quickly and efficiently. The childhood habits would take possession of me. I didn’t get it that if I had overcome pain, I would have become fitter.

Skills:

Footwork in attack and in defense, etc. ......

Technique of strokes – power, precision, etc. ......

Tactics ......

Every sport is different and so it is impossible to draw up a universal master plan for all. It would be best if you went down to it with your coach and analyzed every stroke, shot, pass or serve in detail. Take forehand in tennis for instance: base position, moving forwards, sidewards, inside-out forehand down-the-line and cross-court; low, medium and high bounce – base position or approaching; power, spin, precision, regularity of strokes, and so on and so forth.

My training would be similar to those of many other athletes practicing all kinds of sports. When I was having a good day I would listen to the coach attentively, when I was having a bad one – I listened to him reluctantly or stopped listening at all. I would actually be down to 1 hour of practice instead of the scheduled 2 hours. I would hit the ball like Frankenstein. Devoid of heart and willpower to become better, not to mention the desire to strive for perfection. Only when I came into contact with my mentor did I discover the potential of self-development. I started recording myself and I would compulsively compare myself to the best. I was determined to copy the strokes of the world’s best players. Forgetting about my individualism and the efficiency rather than effectiveness of the implemented improvements I would go from one extreme to the other, learning all the while from my own mistakes. With hindsight, I know I had made hundreds of mistakes but as there was nobody around who could take my technical skills to a higher level – I had to do it all by myself.

If you have given yourself few points on the questionnaire, there is no reason for breakdown. It is only a hint of how massive a potential you have in you. If you get hold of this knowledge, you will not be in the dark when practicing. Every single day should be thought through so that you can make the most of it.

Once you and your coach have drawn up a profile of your technical skills you will know why you are here, not elsewhere – I mean current standings in rankings or leagues where you play. But on the other hand, for the very first time in your life you will see clearly what skills need to be honed. That’s what sport is about – constant quest for perfection. It is going to be much easier once you know what your shortcomings are. Are you lacking in willpower? Look for motivation. Are you lacking in self-confidence in the deciding moments? Practice being self-confident. Are you not the fastest of athletes? Start practicing speed. Are you lacking in strength? Work on strength. You are able to brush up on your technique. Compare yourself with the best and aspire to be even better. It is so simple.

Let’s assume that the total of your fitness is 30 out of 50 points. If you turn up for your next work-out and improve by 5 points it doesn’t mean you haven’t improved significantly enough. The local improvement may seem small or will even go unnoticed to the inexperienced eye. It all looks differently when we compare the results globally. Every additional point, in the shape of improved speed, strength, etc., will automatically make you better than hundreds or thousands of other athletes in this world. Depending on the popularity of a given sport, even slight progress will give you an edge over numerous competitorsa. If you train hard and your average score oscillates around 8-9 points, the local improvement will be huge and noticeable. Looking at it from a global perspective, it will be a tremendous metamorphosis. Isn’t it reason enough to give your all in trainings? Knowing that others will not put in as much effort as you will? The world’s best athletes have got it right, and so they practice harder and wiser than the rest of the crop. It is not easy to believe in yourself and come to understand that while you are still behind the best in this world, this obsession for greatness will bring you closer to the top. Every additional point in your self-esteem will bring you closer to your dreams.